Ribs are a patience test disguised as a recipe. Two and a half hours covered at 300°F does almost all of the work, and the only thing you control in that window is whether you leave the foil alone. Every time you peek, steam escapes, and steam is what breaks down the connective tissue that makes a spare rib tender.

The membrane on the bone side has to come off. It does not render, it does not soften, and it stops seasoning and sauce from ever reaching the meat. Lift a corner with a paper towel for grip and pull it off in one sheet. It takes fifteen seconds and it is the single most skipped step in home barbecue.

Holy Spit goes on at the very end, in two coats, after the foil comes off and the oven goes up. Sauce applied early turns to carbon over two and a half hours. Sauce applied in the last twenty-five minutes sets into a lacquer with real ghost pepper heat behind it. Rest ten minutes before you cut, or the juice ends up on the board instead of in the meat.